i wrote this not long ago in the middle of the night when i couldn't sleep. in my sleeplessness God was working things out in me while i was writing. He does that ...
"its crazy. some days i can't move. some days i feel like my knees
are going to collapse under me. i lay on my face and plead with God
to give us another baby. i totally can see hannah praying in the
temple... looking drunk because of her pain. i know that feeling. i
just never knew what grief like this felt like. i feel like my heart
was ripped in two and God is literally sewing me back together. but
somewhere in the background there's always this constant grace...
peace that i know is trying to burst through in full force if i'll
let it... the calm of God... him saying that its going to be ok...
that His timing is perfect. its a rollercoaster. i'm distressed
completely one minute then the next God has quieted my soul. i feel
like i'm sitting in his lap coming apart. and he's holding me
together. crazy."
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4 comments:
Jill, thanks for bearing your heart and being so vulnerable in sharing what you've been through...praying for you and your hubby during this time. I was blown away by your testimony on the video - I know God is going to use what you've been through to not only minister to those going through difficult circumstances but also to bring glory to His name. I just pray He continues to give you His peace and to mend and heal your hearts. Lots of love babe!!!! Amy Mo xoxo
you are often in my thoughts and prayers. x
So glad I get to hear your thoughts more often! I miss you.
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