Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Q AND A.

As tweeted... a little Q&A this post... :)

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE U.S. CITY....
Would it be right to say anything but St. Augustine, Florida? The place where i was born and raised.. where the sun shine's more often than not... where Barnacle Bills feels like home... where my mom and dad and brother and sister in law are right around the corner... and where surf groms roam free to cause trouble... yep, i definitely couldn't say anywhere else. :)

CAN WE BE PALS....
absolutely. the more pal's the merrier the gal. (ALMOST rhymed)

WHERE DO YOU FIND THE TIME TO BLOG....
well, i don't find it nearly often enough...because bible reading, writing, journaling and a few other heart things take precedence... but when i do find the time... i LOVE it.

WHEN YOU WERE IN THE WAITING...AND THE WAITING... DID YOU EVER HAVE DOUBTS & HOW DID YOU HANDLE THEM....
absolutely. I love 2 Corinthians 10:5 (MSG) "We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ."
Waiting can be so painful, but one thing I decided would be more painful, was getting to the end of the waiting season and holding my God promise in my hands, and wishing I would have gleaned every single God moment and lesson from the waiting. I certainly didn't/don't have it all figured out, but that was one thing I held to.. as well as having verses like 2 Cor that were truths I would/do cling on to.

WHAT HAS GOD TAUGHT YOU ABOUT YOURSELF THROUGH BEING A MOM TO YOUR SWEET BABY....
phew... so many things i could never fit them all... selflessness... love in a new form... choosing to be thankful even when I'm tired and worn down... when you wait for a miracle baby and she comes, i decided i would never complain for what i begged God for... in every challenge, she reminds me of God's faithfulness, and i always remember in my heart those that are still waiting for their promise... it brings such perspective.

WHAT DO YOU DO TO GET READY TO WRITE... WHAT INSPIRES YOU....
writing is a discipline as well and an 'in the moment' expression... so when its a discipline, i make the space I'm writing in practical... computer ready to catch ideas, tv off, house tidy so it doesn't distract me, phone off... but preparation for the God moment expression of my heart is all in the preparation of every day... reading my bible, journaling, worshipping in the every day...
i get inspired by other music, by life moments of heart ache and thankfulness, by need, by the expression i feel in my heart like God is desiring to give the church to sing..

WHEN YOURS INSPIRED BY THE LORD TO WRITE A SONG, WHAT COMES FIRST FOR YOU? MELODY OR LYRICS....ooooo..... tough one... both... one ... the other... depends every time...

YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO BE SO HAPPY...HOW DO YOU KEEP IT UP?...
I believe ONE HUNDRED PERCENT with all my heart that you can ALWAYS find something to be thankful for. so even in the moments when life is the hardest, choosing to see and speak the good and choosing to give yourself perspective will change your outlook. Its really not hard to look around and realise how blessed we are... i decided a while ago that i would always choose to do that.

WHATS YOUR TAKE ON WALKING FORWARD IN FAITH VS. WAITING IN FAITH....
My take on that is to be a sheep.
Jesus said that His sheep know the sound of His voice... so, incidentally, i want to be a sheep.
I think that we need to be people that pray for wisdom and discernment so that in each individual situation we are hearing the Spirit of God and knowing when to walk forward and when to wait. Sometimes our waiting involves walking.

DO YOU HAVE PLANS ON RECORDING YOUR OWN ALBUM, WITH YOU OWN SONGS?
I love being a part of my local church, Hillsong Church, and writing for the house God has put me in... the album stuff just happens sometimes to be a part of that in our church.

DO YOU FEEL A DESIRE TO LEAD PEOPLE IN A DIFFERENT EXPRESSION OF WORSHIP OTHER THAN SINGING SONGS? IF SO, HOW?
I love interpretive dance. I'm pretty good at twirling.

WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR LIFE IS ON HOLD?
Love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength... Love people... and flourish with what God has placed in your hand for the moment. He will never fail you...and every dream and hope that He has placed in your heart will come in time... the time between now and then has purpose beyond what you could ever imagine....


Hope you endured my rambling and poor grammar :)

xoxoxoxoxoxo

jilly

Sunday, May 8, 2011

to mum with love.

I blogged this week as a contributor for Hillsong Collected... follow the link if you should so choose :) and HAPPY MOTHERS DAY... to all the women...mothers spiritually or earthly...sisters...nanna's...daughters and all the rest... you are valued and loved xxxx

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Promises kept.

I can't help but look at my bible and think how BIG it is. Its actually quite small in size but the spiritual weight of what it carries is so vast I can hardly comprehend that there's a 'pocket sized' version. Isn't it unbelievable that it is the Living Breathing Word of God? I can only assume (or hope?!) that I'm not the only person that has at times become complacent in reading it and diving into the depths of it... but there is always a point at which I pass by it on my nightstand, or couch, or chair or wherever it was last left and my heart almost leaps from my chest. Its like my soul has been parched in a desert and at the sight of the Living Water it can hardly contain itself.

I found myself in Romans 4 today... reading about the Faith of Abraham. My spirit melted in the moment I read Romans 4:21 "He was FULLY convinced that God is able to do whatever He promises". There's a list to go on about the promises that Abraham believed God for... not to say that He didn't struggle when He didn't understand how God would come through on His word...and even make mistakes... but He was counted by God as righteous because of his faith. I think one thing I have struggled with in the last few years is knowing full well in my heart that God's promises are sure and will stand against anything... but being caught in the gap of not understanding His timing and outworking - because its not my timing and I can't see how He will do what He said he will do. (pretty sure if i knew all those things that would make me God and that is just as ridiculous as it sounds hah!) I found so much comfort in Abrahams story... He left a legacy of faith and He was FULLY convinced of God's promises and the repercussions of that today are mind blowing. I am sitting in my living room on the couch, writing this, overwhelmed of God's faithfulness to Abraham and what that means for me sitting here today... and overwhelmed by God's faithfulness to me... even after a long journey... and what that will mean for maizey when she's sitting on her couch, in her living room one day, thinking of the faithfulness of God.

I could post it a million times and the truth of His promise would never lose power:: He is faithful. His timing is ALWAYS perfect. He is close to the broken. He is close to the seeking...and He is after the deepest part of your heart. He will keep His promise.

xxxx

Sunday, May 1, 2011

celebrating.

celebrate::::

1. Mark (a significant or happy day or event), typically with a social gathering:
2. Do something enjoyable to mark such an occasion:

There's not actually anyone that on this earth that I'd rather celebrate than my husband. He makes me smile the best and deepest smile that my heart could smile... and I am beyond in love with him. This weekend we've spent every day of it celebrating the amazing man, husband and father that he is. I love loving him...and i love the way that he loves me and our maizey...

i am so blessed... and FULL of thankfulness.

happy birthday to my baby cakes. i love you matty.



Wednesday, April 27, 2011

tea and other things.

New favorite:: T2's 'creme brulee' Tea .

It is DELICIOUS. I mean delicious in that way that makes you want to pass up the cookie for the tea instead, or what the heck, just have the cookie and the tea. :) I find myself curled up on the couch around three or so with my cup of tea and a book (most recently a re-read of an old favorite - hinds feet in high places)... those moments of quiet and time to sit and rest are what fuel my life at the moment. Which leads me on to the thought I have for this little post.

1 Corinthians 13

The Way of Love
1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

11When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

12We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.


To say that this brings my whole being to a stand still would probably be the only accurate way to describe this. How can we read and not be changed. The word is so clear... we can use our words to sound how we want to sound, tweet our way in to the hearts of the world, and make ourselves sound like who we want to be deep inside... but without love... its nothing. Today I resolve again that everything I do would be birthed from a place of real Love.

xxxx


me&maizey




Monday, March 14, 2011

a little reminder.

just reading this verse as i was going to sleep and had to share it...i remember this promise from God over 2 years ago not long after max was gone... and just was overwhelmed by it tonight...
He really is so faithful.

"See! The winter is past, the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit, the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come my darling; my beautiful one, come with me. " Song of Songs 2:11-13

Sunday, March 13, 2011

the victory blog.

well. i was wondering when i would FINALLY get my head in a space to write something making some sort of sense that was more than a couple sentences long... and here i am at 1130pm on a sunday evening with the NSW road works team hard at work outside my door on the road in front of our house... lights and jackhammers blaring at full brightness and volume... guess God was gonna find a way to keep me up somehow. looks like this is it.

JOKING. that actually is the scene outside my window, but my heart has been stirring to write. i still feel like im in the 'new baby bubble'... really still in shock that my little answer to prayer/miracle/victory baby is in my arms... and that she is safe and sound...thriving...perfect to me in every way. reflecting on the last few years of life seemed almost to painful at first... i couldn't figure out why... and then i realised, having Maizey here is like holding your breath until you are almost passing out and then getting that saving breath. i just took that breath with her.

SO here are the stats.



She's my living breathing gorgeous little reminder that God is so faithful. that after 3 years of waiting God knew my every day cry for a baby of my own again, and He was so faithful in placing each moment of our story so far together. Every day with Haylee was mapped out in His perfect plan, and knowing that if I would have had my way and been pregnant any sooner, we may not have had haylee in our world, is just one more reminder of His faithfulness. He has been so good to us in every moment of every season so far... unchanging in His love... unwavering in His quest to see the very best for us... knowing what taking in haylee would do for our hearts and how we would grow and knowing how to stretch us to be more like Him. I feel like i'm deep in the river right now... a stone underneath the waters being smoothed over and crafted to His design... and while my edges rough and ragged must be washed over by His strong currents the result is so worth the wearing down. I can see how much farther to go ... i know that this side of eternity we will be always crafted and refined by the Maker... but now i love the process, however hard and trying. Its amazing how God does that... teaches us to love his crafting, and in seasons where we've walked through a valley, teaches us to see His faithfulness. He is always so close...EMMANUEL.

i could go on and on. i'm walking on air. my miracle is here and i could stare at her all day every day. Thankfulness overwhelms me. i find myself so aware and with those on my heart that are walking in a season like i've been in... and praying that God would give them the grace to keep walking in the most trying of days... and in His mercy carry them on the days when walking comes to crawling comes to exhaustion. All of those feelings and hurts are so real in the valley... BUT... victory is coming... it always does... not always in our timing or plan... but God is faithful and victorious. He is on our side.

i feel like half of me is typing in baby brain... half in normality...but it is now midnight... and my eyes are feeling heavy. i'm so glad i finally could sit and type a little. more to come. this journey is just beginning...

here's some photos :::::

the day maizey was born::

a week or so old:::


with one happy papa:::

just a few more :::