Thursday, March 5, 2009


ahhh i LOVE the cool breeze blowing off the harbour this morning. It felt so nice waking up to it and snuggling under the doona one last time this morning after pushing snooze... 

there's nothing like the feeling of something refreshing :: a cool breeze after a hot summer, a huge glass of cold water after a run (not that running happens often in my life unless someones chasing me... ha!), diving into a swimming pool after a sunbake... you know what i mean... 

those examples all sound so frivolous in light of the following excerpt, but never the less they are what we relate to in our corner of the world that we live in... we are so blessed to enjoy the things we do... 

Refreshing:::::::::: (as from
Main Entry: re-fresh-ing
Function: adjective
Date: circa 1580

: serving to refresh; especially : agreeably stimulationg because of freshness or newness refreshing change of pace >

it was refreshing to read some good news this morning... in the Autumn 2009 Compassion Magazine there was a Q&A with Dr Laurent Mbanda about his home country and the story of the the Rwandan genocide. When asked 'How has the country changed?', he replies::
"Rwanda has had an amazing recovery and extraordinary progress since the genocide, on many fronts, but especially in the fight against poverty. Rwanda's economic growth rate of over 10 percent a year is an unbelievable success story. It has the highest number of female leaders of any parliament in the world; the country enjoys peace, security throughout and visionary leadership. It is a story of success and model of good governance in the region. Reconciliation is taking hold, the country and people are turning to the Lord. Rwanda is a country committed to "never again genocide in Rwanda". 


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

the movements of your heart


I was just reading this morning from "The Ransomed Heart" ... its a collection of devotional readings from the best selling works of John Eldredge and was LOVING this chunk of one of his books... 

The Movements of Your Heart

All sorts of awful things can seem to issue from your heart – anger, lust, fear petty jealousies. If you think it’s you, a reflection of what’s really going on in your heart, it will disable you. It could stop your journey dead in its tracks. What you’ve encountered is either the voice of your flesh or an attempt of the Enemy to distress you by throwing all sorts of thoughts your way and blaming you for it. You must proceed on this assumption: your heart is good. If it seems that some foul thing is at work there, say to yourself, Well then – this is not my heart. My heart is good, I reject this. Remember Paul in Romans 7? This is not me. This is not me. And carry on in your journey. Over time you’ll grow familiar with the movements of your heart, and who is trying to influence you there.

            We do the same with any counsel or word that presents itself as being from God, but contradicts what he has said to us in his written Word. We walk with wisdom and revelation. When I hear something that seems really unwise, I test it again and again before I launch out. The flesh will try to use your “freedom” to get you to do things you shouldn’t do. And now that the Enemy knows you are trying to walk with God and tune in to your heart, he’ll play the ventriloquist and try to deceive you there. Any “word” or suggestion that brings discouragement, condemnation, accusation = that is not from God. Neither is confusion, nor any counsel that would lead you to disobey what you do know. Reject it all, and carry on in your journey. Yes, of course, God needs to convict us of sin, warn us of wrong movements in our soul – but the voice of God is never condemning (Romans 8:1), never harsh or accusing. His conviction brings a desire for repentance; Satan’s accusation kills our hearts (2 Corinthians 7:10).            

(Waking the Dead, 105-6)


happy new year::

So, I realise that it is not actually the new year ... i.e. it did not just turn 2009...but for me... its a new year. February 27 has passed and one year has gone by since my precious little Maxy was taken to glory... we had a super fun birthday party for him and celebrated his life... and it was amazing... and we had yummy cake too! 

I'm looking back on this last year and realise the beautiful things God has been doing. He has been so merciful in letting me pour my heart out, (sometimes in the most un-graceful sort of ways!) and I feel as though I've been more than ever before the throne of grace "just as i am". So here's the thing: It has been a year and I don't want to be the same person this year that I was last year. I won't let the Enemy keep me down or win in ANY way when it comes to depression or disengagement... so I'm just saying... this year is going to be different. I'm making the choice... I'm stepping in line with Jesus and what he did on the cross and believing that by HIS stripes I am mended and healed! He is the restorer of my heart and i know that what He's been doing in me in this last year has all culminated to this time that I now have to stand up again and begin to take steps and choose to not shrink back but move forward in all that God is laying out... and know that He is lighting the path for every step.

I have an amazing God, and amazing husband, an amazing family, an amazing church, amazing friends...  so as you can see... life is amazing! My little Max is up in heaven and he's cheering Matty and I on because he is experiencing the glory of God, his glorious presence face to face, and he knows now fully what we only see in part... (I can't wait to be there too-in Gods timing of course ha!!) I still miss him so much, but shivers, I can't live in that moment that happened a year ago forever - all I can do is love the beautiful time I had with Max and carry it with me as pure joy... and let God continue healing the rest.

Ahhh... *breathing out*... Its so good to let the weight of it all go. I didn't think I could ever get here... and here I am. I know there will still be sad days, or minutes or whatever, but this is a new year... and I'm SO looking forward to it... i love my Max more than ever and can't wait Max's little brother or sister... whenever God is ready for us to have them... :) 

just some thoughts of today... ::