Tuesday, December 16, 2008

what a day.

AH! Look outside.... the sun is blazing... beautiful blue skies... green leaves... warm air... summer is here! Welcome, oh welcome beautiful summer. I am so glad you have arrived. I promise to be a sunscreen carrying, fruit eating, bbq loving summer patron. 


Tuesday, December 2, 2008

9 months...

My little Max has been enjoying heaven for a few days over nine months now. I find myself thinking today... what must it be like... how amazing the sights he must see...  my son walking with Jesus knowing nothing but joy and peace, never feeling pain or sorrow. 

Something about today, it resounds... the greatness of God. He's protected Max from all the things in this world that could have hurt him or broken him. While I would give anything to love him in my arms, God has got that taken care of and I'm here loving him in my heart. Max is knowing God deeper than I'll ever know him this side of heaven, and while i have my days of brokeness and confusion and hurt, God is doing so much more than I can see. He is truly weaving through Matty's and my life a cord of complete trust in our Saviour. 

I've spend a lot of time in the past couple weeks with God trying to letting the pain and the things that are weighing on my heart be worked out by the one who created my heart. I'm still so very much in the middle of that process, but one thing i've learned so far... nothing i've felt or experienced is out of His understanding or reach, no hurt to strong to scare Him away... He sits with me, talks with me... lets me say the things that i don't understand and He LOVES me. 

i love our Saviour. Jesus. Emmanuel. Holy Spirit... Father. He is so good.