Tuesday, November 9, 2010

the final weeks.

I honestly have to say I can hardly believe I am writing this, still pregnant, at 34 weeks...or 8 1/2 months... it feels so surreal. like... totally surreal.

All my heart keeps whispering throughout my last weeks & months over and over is 'God is so good'... and there is this soft refrain that keeps singing 'victory', and a beautiful knowing that the enemy is defeated by the power of our mighty God. The enemy was always defeated, even before this victory of a little girl growing healthy in my tum... but to see the outworking of such a victory...it brings that glorious defeat to the forefront of my mind constantly. It is a constant reminder that all those things I know are so wonderfully true are playing out in a story of life right in front of my eyes.

It has certainly been an adventure, a ride of wild curves and swerves as we've made our way through the last months. I spent about a week in hospital at 29 weeks after our little maizey made an attempt at escaping a little early... and all was well after some precautions were taken... and again God was faithful and Maizey was healthy and happy with a bit of encouagement to stay put. Then, this past Sunday, we gathered together as a church family to record the 2011 Hillsong Live Album marking another year since losing our Max and marking a huge miracle victory as I had the privilage of standing and singing while carrying our healthy baby girl in my womb.

It seems as I type all of this, that I'm again overwhelmed by the simple fact that the story is just that... its the facts belonging to such a greater picture. Important? Absolutely! Our stories are so vitally important... but as I think about the story that is our (matty and my) lives together, I see so clearly that they only frame the substance which really matters and is true no matter what the up or down of the story is at the moment. The truth and the substance that is the constant, that makes up the fabric of who we are in every season is Jesus... the JOY of that washes me over. He will never change... No matter what comes in life... He will always be the center of our lives... and as the story frames the substance of us... we always live with the same truth and hope.

Maybe its just my pregnant brain as I type this all out, but I feel like there's a revelation in my heart today. I'm so beyond thankful for this beautiful baby that will be in my arms soon. Lord knows, she's been prayed for and so long awaited... but i'm also very aware that there are so many of you that are still in the waiting season... waiting for your promise... waiting for the answer you've been crying out for... and I feel like God's saying so clearly to let Him be your substance and to let him frame your life with a story that will glorify the substance that makes you up. He will never stop being faithful and true... and in the waiting He will be glorified as the constant in your heart and life.

i'll leave you with a little photo of late. the 34 week equator shot ... its getting harder and harder to take these simply out of vanity! ha!

As well a little update on Haylee (if you don't recall, she was our foster daughter for a little over a year)... she's doing great! She is about to be fully restored to her dad, so we are praying for him every day, believing he is going to be the very best dad she could have ever had... believing for his absolutely success in life and the next few years learning how to parent a toddler. We saw Haylee for what will most likely be the last time a couple weeks ago and she was BEAUTIFUL of course, walking and chatting and being the absolute treasure she always is...