This morning i woke up and made a coffee... latte to be exact. whole milk... strong espresso. made on the coffee machine that matty bought me for my birthday. ... and its good. nice and hot. no sugar. ahhhhh.
i was thinking this morning about trusting God. After something that we don't understand happens and we choose to trust God, that seems almost to be the intelligent option. When we are completely out of control of our circumstance, when we love God, who else would we trust. - granted that sometimes we may float in the land of 'what just happened' before we get to that conclusion - Anyways, trusting God for the believer should be the natural option after tragedy or unexpected circumstance, but i'm finding that the true trusting is growing as the road that i'm on lengthens. I think part of me was trusting God and waiting for him to put us back on the track that i thought we were on... kind of a 'fix it' mentality if that makes sense. I'm learning that trusting Him means that we trust His plan, not that we had and 'oops' my life isn't what i thought it would be moment and now i'm waiting for you to put me back on my plan for my life, but abandonment to His plan... no matter the waiting... no matter what His timing is... and trusting Him all the way through it.
C.S. Lewis writes " When i lay these questions before God i get no answer. But a rather special sort of 'no answer'. It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As thought He shook His head not in refusal but in waiving the question. Like, 'Peace, Child; you don't understand." - from A Grief Observed -
He does understand. So i can drink my coffee, get ready for the day... set out trusting him from the sunrise to the sunset and everywhere in between. ...
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4 comments:
Your words are such an encouragement to me. Although our circumstances are different, God has used your story to help me re-focus on Him. We have been on a journey of adopting 2 girls from Ethiopia since December of 2007- and the wait is agonizing. Your song (Desert Song) and your writings of baby Max have made me realize that I still need to praise, worship and focus on Jesus- not our tough circumstances. Thank you and may you continue to experience the Grace and Peace of Christ.
I really loved your blog Jill.
Honestly I have no idea of what my reaction would be if something liked that happened to me.. and I´m afraid it wouldnt be like yours.
I was thinking about that the other day. About how much we listen/read/talk about trusting God, His faithfulness and so many other things that is written in the Bible that even sound like cliches sometimes... and how the meaning of all this changes when we actually start living it!
one thing is to say God is faithful and another thing, a deeper thing, is in fact experience God´s faithfulness and be able to be a living testimony of His faithfulness.. so we begin to understand that all these verses arent cliches... there is a deeper meaning hidden in the background.. that we´ll only know when we are abandoned in His arms... and its not easy, because in order to do that, we´ll have to let go everything about ourselves.. its His way or the highway!! hehe
and oh... how its easy to just say it...
well..
Im praying for u =)
blessings!
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