the biggest little treasure.

meet our little girl.
She even waves. Its like southern hospitality is woven into her involuntarily!

She is the biggest little treasure. I can't believe that after such a long wait for her.. so many prayers... tears... hopes... she is FINALLY in my tummy growing and thriving... THANK YOU JESUS!

Its always easier to sit on this side of the journey and talk about how Gods timing is perfect and how you can all of the sudden see how He had a plan and purpose for all the waiting. To that I would say, well, of course it feels better with the joy of my heart in my womb... but I don't understand the waiting any more than I did before. I am, however, just as sure now as ever, if not more, certain that God has perfect timing... and whatever His reason or plan might be... I am for it... on board... will choose to lay my life and dreams down... for His cause and His purpose. Is that the easy choice?... absolutely not... but its the one that leaves me with joy in my heart and hope in my hands... no matter what He has granted so far.
That is what I have resolved.

A couple weeks ago I went in for an ultrasound (I have these more frequently than normal as I am 'classified' now as high risk pregnancy).. these are for the purpose of making sure its all going the right way etc etc... we walked in thinking it was going to be fine as usual. We have walked in to this pregnancy full of faith for a healthy baby... aware of, but not dwelling, or expecting complications. We left that ultrasound with heart stopping news. There was a problem with an area of the ultrasound requiring that I have surgery as soon as possible to combat my body from continuing down the road it seemingly was on to another premature labour.
Talk about shock.
I'm sitting there thinking... this can't be happening again... God, WHERE ARE YOU???
Is my little girl going to be ok... i can't believe i thought this was all going to be normal...
(I'm just being brutally honest here). I felt like someone shot me in the chest.

These are all normal reactions. The problem becomes letting these thoughts take you captive. The solution... TAKING these thoughts captive.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. ⁴The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. ⁵We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

SO... as the enemy began his attack on my heart... Gracious Jesus stepped in with truth that is sewn in to the fabric of who I am... and truth began spilling on every doubt.

I.E. ::: This is not history repeating itself. God IS doing a new thing. Where is God?... RIGHT HERE... in this room with me...in my heart... in my everything...He IS in control... He IS right now knitting our little girl together in my womb part by part, every piece of who she is... and it is going to be OK.

I made a choice right then to not entertain thoughts that are contrary to what God says about my situation. He is mighty and great... and has us right in the palm of His hand. That is always the safest place to be.

{it's also helping to have things like this on my wall}
So now, surgery complete... home staying off my feet... and lots of time on my hands... I've been able to think about PLENTY. One thing I know is whatever God does in these next months... I am going to trust Him. I'm believing completely and am full of faith for a perfectly healthy baby... born at just the right time. I have also resolved that whatever happens... I will be ok with it. I don't claim to know what God is doing... I just know that everything is going to be ok... whatever everything ends up looking like... its going to be ok. God will never be out of control of what is happening... and His ways will always be higher than mine... His thoughts higher than mine....and no matter what, I won't stop praising Him... and let me tell you... when this baby girl is in my arms for the first time... healthy and perfect... you might here the celebrations of heaven and earth in that room from where your reading this. It is going to be a HAPPY day... :)

I would ask you to pray for our little girl as she keeps growing... there's quite a few milestones for us to pass in the coming months before she arrives... and prayer changes things... so we would love yours. I'll be 22 weeks on Saturday praise God... and plenty more of those week celebrations to come!

In other news... my husband is amazing and becoming quite the cook.. laundry man... general house duties man... grocery shopper and plenty more{AND} I have the best friends in the world. They frequently pop by with meals... groceries... to clean my house... bring flowers...take our dog for a walk...& the list goes on and on. Isn't it amazing how the family of God shines so beautiful in these moments. There are SO many beautiful things about where we are at this very moment... and to many things to count that I'm praising God for.

xxxxx

jill

OH. and thought i'd throw in these photos for a little glimpse at my amazing hubs coping with hospital stay life.... glad we weren't there long... ha!

{he can sleep anywhere}
{they tagged me}
{beautiful flowers from my mom and dad}
{sleeping arrangements for the night}