Monday, November 30, 2009

the Spirit hovers.

on this beautiful monday morning i have been arrested by hope, once again. As i flipped open the thin almost transparent paper of my leather bound bible, i couldn't even make it past the first couple verses-of the first chapter-of the first book. Something in my heart prompted me as i opened the Book of books, to take the title page-index page-so on page by page until i ended up at Genesis 1:1 and began reading. When i say it arrested me, i mean in that way that my whole being was absolutely overtaken by the beauty of His word for us. Weeping in my large white arm chair i have realised once again this morning the hope He extends to each of us.

i'll begin with you were i started not much earlier this day:

Genesis 1:1-2
'The Beginning"

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless & empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep & the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters."

I don't know how to convey what God did in my heart, to translate it off the pages of my journal to this post:: so i'm going to give you the words straight off the page of my journal:: please understand that i don't ever do this lightly... as the words that happen in the pages of my journal are the closest parts of my heart:: I hope that it somehow reaches you the way He reached me this morning::

::::::::::God-the absolute beauty that there was nothing, and you were there, in an earth that was unformed : barren : desolate : empty : Your beautiful Spirit was hovering ... You were THERE my beautiful God... out of nothing you created. I look at the beauty of this earth - every flower and tree, the vast expanse of the ocean and I am so overwhelmed that in Your glorious & wonderful imagination You formed all that i see. My whole being springs to joy & life; knowing that even in the seemingly barreness of my womb Your Spirit is hovering_waiting_to create... You are imagining the child that is to come, with Your wild and beautiful imagination, You ARE creating_TRULY_You make the barren woman sing_You bring Life_and healing.:::::::::::::::

Something about this verse - i just saw the pieces of my soul - where i am waiting for all these dreams - that even where it seems empty and unformed and just a dream - that the Spirit is hovering... creating... and the expanse of what He can create is ENDLESS... BOUNDLESS...

and i feel He is saying to us this morning:::

I AM HOVERING ...master of a craft .. an artist with brush in hand ... dreaming up the glorious thing(s) that i am about to create... don't underestimate that I know no bounds...

well:: baby is awake :: i can hear little squeals of delight coming from the nursery so i'm off :-)

love xx jilly


Jen said...

Hi Jill, I"m hopping over from Twitter :)

What a beautiful thought! That even when there was *nothing*... He KNEW. He *still* knows.

I pray for you and your husband regularly. I know that might seem really strange, considering I've only ever seen you on DVD and at Colour *grin*. I love though, that the Lord brings you (and your precious Max) to mind often. You've ministered to me through your music... it's an honour to pray for you in turn :)

I read a beautiful blog by Angie Smith, the wife of the lead singer of Selah (have you heard of them?) She is the sweetest person alive, and I've been blessed to get to know her on a more personal level. I think you'd appreciate her heart...


Ren said...

Hi Jill,

I just got the This Is Our God DVD and watched your testimony on it yesterday... found your blog and was surprised to see that you've only just started posting again in the past few days. I don't usually comment on strangers' blogs because it seems so stalker-ish, but I wanted to let you know how you've blessed me.

I thank God for the courage He has given you to minister in the midst of your brokenness, instead of waiting until you're "in a better place". But thank YOU, Jill, for sharing these painful and raw emotions in such a public space. It must be so hard, and yet you do it with such grace.

I work as a counsellor with women whose hearts have been broken in so many ways and I know if it weren't for God being with me in each session, I wouldn't last a single day. You have reminded me that even when life seems senselessly painful and cruel, He is merciful and reigns over it all.

I'm looking forward with you to the day when we'll be whole and healed in God's presence -- when the loved ones we miss so very much will be right next to us. And I look forward to being "out of work" as a counsellor when I get to Heaven because there won't be any more brokenness.

Thanks again.

Your sister in Him,

Anonymous said...

I came upon your blog through Lauren Chandlers blog...
I don't know the rest of your story but I've been reading this entry with tears in my eyes and have the feeling we're in the same situation.
I'm grateful the Spirit whispered those precious things to you this morning.

It's such a delicate balance for me, one one hand:
hoping/praying/seeking/dreaming/believing for that intense yearning and desire of my heart, and on the other hand, accepting/surrendering/wanting Gods will...
I don't know how to untangle those emotions, maybe they are to go together..?

In Proverbs it says "a hope deferred makes the heart sick"... I just don't know, should we ever stop hoping and asking for our desire..? Or keep believing and praying and wanting..

I do not know what and when and how to surrender...
I'd love your thoughts...
here's my email in case you have any insight...

Off to read the rest of your blog! :)

Karen Alarcón said...

Hola Jill

Deseo con todo su corazón exaltar el nombre de Dios en todo lo que hago, Estoy realmente agradecida con él por lo que ha hecho en mi vida, en los últimos tiempos Tu has alentado mucho mi corazón, al verte amar y servir al Señor. Désato sobre Ti abundancia de Dios en todas las áreas de sus vidas. Un abrazo.


Michael said...

You won't know me. I'm the guy who tweeted about Lou Gehrig's Disease, and how Desert Song had helped me in my illness. I just wanted to say, Thanks, Jill, for entrusting something as personal as your journal to the blogasphere. I can see why you are an anointed worship leader. Through you the Spirit makes the word of God spring to life. Talking of deserts, I love Hosea 2.14 where God draws His beloved into the wilderness in order to speak tenderly to her. I'm not that good at listening; so I appreciate those who are. Bless you. Michael, UK

Ilse said...

Hi Jill

Greetings from Chile!
I found your blog by coincidence (or Godincidence), and this word is just what i need right now. Knowing that the Spirit of God is hovering over my actual caos, waiting to put everything in the right place, willing to create new things, brought hope and gratitude back again.
Thanks a lot.


brittney mccook said...

Hi, Jill,

your blog really encouraged me today to keep waiting on God and His timing for the man He has for me.And it keep believing that He is hovering and creating something amazing!!! thank you so much for allowing the Lord to speak through you!

Jaime said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts - I ended up on your blog due to your song we the redeemed - it's a journey and a process is the story of my life!
This post was perfect - Our amazing God is always creating beauty out of nothing - Thanks again for sharing your heart!