Promises kept.

I can't help but look at my bible and think how BIG it is. Its actually quite small in size but the spiritual weight of what it carries is so vast I can hardly comprehend that there's a 'pocket sized' version. Isn't it unbelievable that it is the Living Breathing Word of God? I can only assume (or hope?!) that I'm not the only person that has at times become complacent in reading it and diving into the depths of it... but there is always a point at which I pass by it on my nightstand, or couch, or chair or wherever it was last left and my heart almost leaps from my chest. Its like my soul has been parched in a desert and at the sight of the Living Water it can hardly contain itself.

I found myself in Romans 4 today... reading about the Faith of Abraham. My spirit melted in the moment I read Romans 4:21 "He was FULLY convinced that God is able to do whatever He promises". There's a list to go on about the promises that Abraham believed God for... not to say that He didn't struggle when He didn't understand how God would come through on His word...and even make mistakes... but He was counted by God as righteous because of his faith. I think one thing I have struggled with in the last few years is knowing full well in my heart that God's promises are sure and will stand against anything... but being caught in the gap of not understanding His timing and outworking - because its not my timing and I can't see how He will do what He said he will do. (pretty sure if i knew all those things that would make me God and that is just as ridiculous as it sounds hah!) I found so much comfort in Abrahams story... He left a legacy of faith and He was FULLY convinced of God's promises and the repercussions of that today are mind blowing. I am sitting in my living room on the couch, writing this, overwhelmed of God's faithfulness to Abraham and what that means for me sitting here today... and overwhelmed by God's faithfulness to me... even after a long journey... and what that will mean for maizey when she's sitting on her couch, in her living room one day, thinking of the faithfulness of God.

I could post it a million times and the truth of His promise would never lose power:: He is faithful. His timing is ALWAYS perfect. He is close to the broken. He is close to the seeking...and He is after the deepest part of your heart. He will keep His promise.

xxxx

celebrating.

celebrate::::

1. Mark (a significant or happy day or event), typically with a social gathering:

2. Do something enjoyable to mark such an occasion:

There's not actually anyone that on this earth that I'd rather celebrate than my husband. He makes me smile the best and deepest smile that my heart could smile... and I am beyond in love with him. This weekend we've spent every day of it celebrating the amazing man, husband and father that he is. I love loving him...and i love the way that he loves me and our maizey...

i am so blessed... and FULL of thankfulness.

happy birthday to my baby cakes. i love you matty.

tea and other things.

New favorite:: T2's 'creme brulee' Tea .

It is DELICIOUS. I mean delicious in that way that makes you want to pass up the cookie for the tea instead, or what the heck, just have the cookie and the tea. :) I find myself curled up on the couch around three or so with my cup of tea and a book (most recently a re-read of an old favorite - hinds feet in high places)... those moments of quiet and time to sit and rest are what fuel my life at the moment. Which leads me on to the thought I have for this little post.

1 Corinthians 13

The Way of Love

¹ If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. ²If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. ^3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

^8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

¹¹When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

¹²We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

¹³But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

To say that this brings my whole being to a stand still would probably be the only accurate way to describe this. How can we read and not be changed. The word is so clear... we can use our words to sound how we want to sound, tweet our way in to the hearts of the world, and make ourselves sound like who we want to be deep inside... but without love... its nothing. Today I resolve again that everything I do would be birthed from a place of real Love.

xxxx

me&maizey

a little reminder.

just reading this verse as i was going to sleep and had to share it...i remember this promise from God over 2 years ago not long after max was gone... and just was overwhelmed by it tonight...
He really is so faithful.

"See! The winter is past, the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit, the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come my darling; my beautiful one, come with me. " Song of Songs 2:11-13

the victory blog.

well. i was wondering when i would FINALLY get my head in a space to write something making some sort of sense that was more than a couple sentences long... and here i am at 1130pm on a sunday evening with the NSW road works team hard at work outside my door on the road in front of our house... lights and jackhammers blaring at full brightness and volume... guess God was gonna find a way to keep me up somehow. looks like this is it.

JOKING. that actually is the scene outside my window, but my heart has been stirring to write. i still feel like im in the 'new baby bubble'... really still in shock that my little answer to prayer/miracle/victory baby is in my arms... and that she is safe and sound...thriving...perfect to me in every way. reflecting on the last few years of life seemed almost to painful at first... i couldn't figure out why... and then i realised, having Maizey here is like holding your breath until you are almost passing out and then getting that saving breath. i just took that breath with her.

SO here are the stats.



She's my living breathing gorgeous little reminder that God is so faithful. that after 3 years of waiting God knew my every day cry for a baby of my own again, and He was so faithful in placing each moment of our story so far together. Every day with Haylee was mapped out in His perfect plan, and knowing that if I would have had my way and been pregnant any sooner, we may not have had haylee in our world, is just one more reminder of His faithfulness. He has been so good to us in every moment of every season so far... unchanging in His love... unwavering in His quest to see the very best for us... knowing what taking in haylee would do for our hearts and how we would grow and knowing how to stretch us to be more like Him. I feel like i'm deep in the river right now... a stone underneath the waters being smoothed over and crafted to His design... and while my edges rough and ragged must be washed over by His strong currents the result is so worth the wearing down. I can see how much farther to go ... i know that this side of eternity we will be always crafted and refined by the Maker... but now i love the process, however hard and trying. Its amazing how God does that... teaches us to love his crafting, and in seasons where we've walked through a valley, teaches us to see His faithfulness. He is always so close...EMMANUEL.

i could go on and on. i'm walking on air. my miracle is here and i could stare at her all day every day. Thankfulness overwhelms me. i find myself so aware and with those on my heart that are walking in a season like i've been in... and praying that God would give them the grace to keep walking in the most trying of days... and in His mercy carry them on the days when walking comes to crawling comes to exhaustion. All of those feelings and hurts are so real in the valley... BUT... victory is coming... it always does... not always in our timing or plan... but God is faithful and victorious. He is on our side.

i feel like half of me is typing in baby brain... half in normality...but it is now midnight... and my eyes are feeling heavy. i'm so glad i finally could sit and type a little. more to come. this journey is just beginning...

here's some photos :::::

the day maizey was born::

a week or so old:::


with one happy papa:::

just a few more :::